We were their sexiness, and their lives were filled with holes of all sorts, economic ones and actual ones an d real gaps between who they had been and who they were, and who they would be. And it’s sort of — I mean that too, it’s like that’s one of the things that was lost, that I know institutions are trying to kind of shake up, but — that you would go to a party when I came to town, and there would be old people and young people there.


And that’s not the case now. And I say this as one who always dates younger women, and every time she takes me to a party, it’s increasing — I mean I really have to start dating people my own age or closer to my age, because increasingly the gap just widens. Because I remember in my 40s, I remember some person in her 20s coming up and saying you’re the only person your age that comes to these parties. And then you’re in your 50s and they’re saying it, and then you’re in your 60s, and you think this is weird.


Where are the people my age? And I think — I don’t know where they are. I mean they’re in their private worlds, and worlds get privatized and people get tired. But also the young people don’t invite you and don’t know you or keep you as their professional life, in their play life, they just do among their own generation. I mean I think that that isn’t just institutions. I think it sort of goes all the way back to grade school and high school and how people are educated now in some kind of homogenous way, where they’re really comfortable with…


Like when I dated a younger woman recently, we got trashed on the internet by young women for how disgusting it was that she had to have been sexually abused, and I was just an old predator. And I thought that is so weird, considering how common it is in movies and in culture for older men to be dating younger women or men, totally normal. And there was something so loathsome about — but it was like even — so I thought even in this kind of alternative queer community, there’s such a normalization that this kind of an American Apparel look for a relationship, and if you’re outside of that, you’re fucked up.

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